Story. September 25, 2007

Filed under: God showed/taught me/ect,Life — beyondtheoutside @ 8:40 PM

So, heres the story..I told Stephen Zubrowski (coughing Sicko) and it tells the story as well as what I got out of it, ect…so i’m just pasting our IM conversation…

BeyondReach08 (8:17:08 PM): You wanna hear a really really cool story?!
Coughing Sicko (8:18:27 PM): sure
BeyondReach08 (8:18:29 PM): Ok..
BeyondReach08 (8:18:38 PM): So you know how Allie like gets verses for people and stuff?
BeyondReach08 (8:19:02 PM): So during church she looks at me, points like “ah, its you” and comes to me…
BeyondReach08 (8:19:05 PM): she shows me this..
BeyondReach08 (8:19:18 PM): 1 Peter 2:4-12 (ESV)
As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, 5 you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. 6 For it stands in Scripture:

BeyondReach08 (8:19:25 PM): “Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone,
a cornerstone chosen and precious,
and whoever believes in him will not be put to shame.”
7 So the honor is for you who believe, but for those who do not believe,
“The stone that the builders rejected
has become the cornerstone,”
8 and
“A stone of stumbling,
and a rock of offense.”
They stumble because they disobey the word, as they were destined to do.

BeyondReach08 (8:19:32 PM): 9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 10 Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

11 Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. 12 Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.

Coughing Sicko (8:20:29 PM): awesome
BeyondReach08 (8:20:56 PM): And I stood there like just shaking b/c…I was just like, floored…thats kinda alot to take in and like understand…So then (that was during the first or second song of worship) during worship either one of the worship team ppl or a pastor ( i was in the very back, so couldnt see) like quoted one of those verses!
BeyondReach08 (8:21:13 PM): Allie just looked and me and shrugged her shoulders…it was so cool!
Coughing Sicko (8:21:25 PM): whoooa
Coughing Sicko (8:21:30 PM): that’s crazy
BeyondReach08 (8:21:37 PM): So I’ve been like meditating on that for this wk a ton and just seeing what God wants to tell me about himself through this
Coughing Sicko (8:21:48 PM): and what is that?
BeyondReach08 (8:21:57 PM): yea, it was crazy..and I think they were talking about having a foundation built on him
BeyondReach08 (8:22:40 PM): Um, I’m not TOTALLY sure…but what I’ve been hearing the Lord tell me when reading this and studying it…is just that he really cares for me and he doesnt want me to go the path of the unbelievers (and shows me where it will lead)…
BeyondReach08 (8:23:22 PM): he’s plainly laying out before me why they got to be this way (thru disobedience to the Word) and I really needed @ that moment to hear that God cares for me and that I’m chosen and precious, so that was def perfect timing for that
BeyondReach08 (8:23:28 PM): So that was awsome!
Coughing Sicko (8:23:47 PM): seems to kind of line up with what you were telling me awhile back about like wanting to honor God with your actions and wanting to see your friends understand why you were making the choices you were making
BeyondReach08 (8:23:54 PM): Yea
Coughing Sicko (8:24:04 PM): and like not wanting to budge in that
BeyondReach08 (8:24:09 PM): and it was cool because…
BeyondReach08 (8:24:37 PM): I was seeing how God paints a very definite line between unbelievers and believers…And i AM a should be acting like one
Coughing Sicko (8:24:48 PM): yeah
Coughing Sicko (8:25:00 PM): unfortunately that line seems to be dimming in our culture
BeyondReach08 (8:25:01 PM): Even if that means being rejected by men (not that that matters b/c God loves me and I’m precious to him)
BeyondReach08 (8:25:06 PM): exactly

And then Stephen shared this quote:
Coughing Sicko (8:40:00 PM): “They that have Christ, they have a soul-satisfying portion. They have the truest pleasures and comforts. Here is to be found the proper happiness of the soul. Least liable to accidents and change….Here is the best employment for the understanding….Such as have Christ, they have better and greater riches than others….Better honor….far better pleasures than sensual men. The joys are more exquisitely delighting than ever was enjoyed by the greatest epicure. [There are] no pleasures like those that are by the enlightenings of the Spirit of Christ, the discoveries of the beauty of Christ and the manifestations of His love.” -Jonathan Edwards


*Sigh* September 21, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondtheoutside @ 9:57 PM

So about maybe starting to figure some stuff out. Yea, that was true for about….2 days. Then everything crashed again and its a HUGE mess…


I’m not sure… September 18, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondtheoutside @ 5:21 PM

So…maybe I’m beginning to figure some of this out. I’m not sure, but just maybe. Like, things are starting to makes sense and I’m beginning to know what to do. It’s basically exciting. If I live for myself, I have no purpose. Like, I feel like there is no purpose in my life when I live for myself, and i hate feeling useless. So then I know that when I live for God, I have a purpose, He’s going to use me.
And, I just can’t do a lot of things anymore. I’ve come to the end of myself and now come to a realization. I’m realizing the difference between knowing and believing, trying to accept things that i dont want to just know, but truly believe. It’s been a VERY interesting, confused, like…wow-mind-blowing past few months.
And now things will get a little worse, then better. =]. Because now, well, yea..I know, this is REALLY confusing because prolly no one knows what I’m talking about, even if you think you know what I’m talking about…
But yea, just…I’m slightly happier…but yet still totally and utterly confused @ the same time 🙂


Summary of myself. September 17, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondtheoutside @ 9:39 PM

“I dont know what I want, so dont ask me
Cause I’m still trying to figure it out
Don’t know what’s down this road, I’m just walking
Trying to see though the rain coming down”

So, all I have to say is…I think that perfectly summarizes me right now.


September 10, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondtheoutside @ 7:30 PM

So, I’m learning and waiting and trying and overwhelemed. I’m just…not sure. And that’s what can bother me. That I dont know. I’m so utterly confused, I just don’t know where to go, what to do or who to turn to. I’m supposed to maybe fall and be rescued? Maybe that’s what I need I was told? I’m not sure. I’ve been hurt, I’d rather not again.
But I was just told…there’s a light…so I need to see it. They said it’s there. Do I believe it? I want to. But there’s a lil thought it my head that says “well, if you assume that that there isnt a tunnel, and there happens to be one, then good for you. If you sit there looking for one, and there isnt one? Then screw you.” Or like, I’ll see a lil tiny light, but then I’ll just know I cant go GET that light, i have to WAIT for it, something I dont want to do. So Idk. I guess lately its all been very confusing. And I just can’t sort it out, which kinda bothers me. Like, I just CANT sort anything out. I want to, but I just dont know how. So….yea. I’m so totally confusing cuz I dont know anything myself. That’s why I havent been blogging, cuz I dont know how to say anything….I’m too confused myself. So anyway..I’m gonna stop cuz I think I’m just going in circles…
But all in all…its been like totally confusing and….
lonely in a way…But in a good way that I kinda like and really needed. So its been ok.