HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO. . . September 25, 2008

Filed under: Friends,God — beyondtheoutside @ 7:35 AM

Julie. My best friend is 15 today. So best friend, happy birthday. 

I feel so blessed to have a friend like her. We’ve seriously been through a lot of crap this year together, but our friendship lasted. I feel like if has lasted through these past two years, it can last through anything. The Lord is so kind to give her to me to be my best friend. In this past year, she has matured, grown in wisdom and learned to better care for people with compassion. The Lord has definitely been at work in her life, and for that I am so thankful. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I cannot wait to see her today and give a big hug and wish her a happy birthday. I’m also thankful that the Lord has allowed History class to be cancelled, now I am going to get to spend more time at Julie’s on her birthday. Gah, the Lord’s kindness and love overwhelm me!


First day of Fall! YAY! September 22, 2008

Filed under: God,Life,other,School,Siblings — beyondtheoutside @ 4:27 PM

This is one of my favorite times of years. I love this season. When I go outside and I smell the burning leaves, it just makes me so happy. =]

Because it’s the first day of fall, I plan to do a cute little fall project/craft with Jesse. I’ll probably take a picture and post it later. I would love to tell you all the things I love about fall, but I don’t have time =\ I even started school early today and I’ve still got a good 2 hours worth of school left =\ Some days are just harder and longer than others. . . I gotta pull through. . . And trust God =)


Dyslexia? September 20, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondtheoutside @ 10:13 AM

We’re pretty sure I have some form of dyslexia or some learning disability. 

When I was little, it took me longer than most kids to read. I had a LOT of trouble with mixing up my d’s and b’s and g’s and p’s. I would write a lot of numbers and letters backwards. My mom has suspicions of some sort of learning disability, possibly dyslexia, but once I finally got the hang of reading, she let it fall to the back of her mind. From the time I learned to read until about a year ago, I always had trouble reading. I was at a normal level with other children and I was never held back in any way from the other children. But I have never been able to read for more than about 20 minutes without getting a severe headache. My mom used to think that I possibly was making it up since I hated reading. That was not the case. On top of not being able to read for a long amount of time, I had trouble getting my eyes to focus and stop skipping from line to line, so I was never able to get much reading done before I got a headache.

To me, it was always really frustrating. All I wanted was to read. But because I couldn’t really read very well, I grew to hate reading. I despised reading and dreaded the idea. Also, Jonathan learned to read at the young age of four. He could read small chapter books at that age. Though he could read, he had ZERO comprehension. He just liked to read words-but he NEVER knew what the book was about or the plot or characters. So for me, it was frustrating going through homeschooling where my brother is reading all of these books and I’m struggling. I also had trouble reading aloud. Because my eyes cannot focus on just one line, I would never be able to finish one line and go to the next. I would read the last word in a line on the page then skip 2-3 lines and start reading. The story never made sense and I hated that. I started reading with notecards so that I could follow the lines better. This helped, but it was quite annoying. 

So we eventually kind of forgot about it and it was just a known fact that I couldn’t read very well. Then finally when I got into high-school, and the reading became more intense, I had to be able to read more than in 20 minute increments. I had to go to my eye doctor, so my mom told them my problem. *Backing up in time a little.* When I was little, about 8ish, my eye doctor had given me different prisms and things to work with. I had a popsicle stick with something on the end of it and I would have to cover an eye and read, then cover the other, and watch TV doing certain things with the prisms. Truthfully, I forget why exactly, I just know I did it because I still have the prism and the stick =). But anyway, that was supposed to help me with the reading, but it didn’t change much. So when I went back to the eye doctor about beginning of 9th grade I believe, she told me that my eyes have a lot of trouble focusing and that when I try to focus my eyes on a line, that strains my eyes and then I get the headache. She said there was a simple solution-reading glasses. So I got the reading glasses and I use them pretty faithfully. If I don’t, I still get headaches.

So that was that. The glasses helped SO much and now, I LOVE to read. I had a reading list of 11 books this summer. Along with the mass amount of reading I have for school right now, I’m also reading Beowulf as well as Angela’s Ashes (and I plan to read the sequel, ‘Tis, and the third book when I finish). I just read all the time and if I’m not reading, I’m asking people for books I should be reading. The glasses seemed to fix a lot of my problems, but I still get headaches if I read small print. Anyway, I’m thankful that that was resolved-almost. 

You see, I’ve had this problem for a while, but never chose to acknowledge it. I think something is wrong with my brain. haha, my mom laughed when I said that to her. I think that my brain has trouble sending signals to my mouth of what to say. When reading lists and numbers, I say them backwards or out of order. If the number is something like 829564 I would either say 465928 or just say something like 649285. If it were like a phone number, I could read it and then dial it fine-I just can’t TELL someone what the number is. It’s very frustrating. 

I’ve really been noticing it and paying attention to this in my english and chemistry classes. In English, I was in a group. We were writing something as a group and I was the secretary-I write quickly, so I was in charge of writing what we came up with. I wrote at the top of the page “By: Group Dziwulski, Bickel, Dubell, Davis, Grant and Shive.” Well, when I was reading that to the group, I said “By: Group Bickel, Davis, Shive, Dziwulski and Grant.” It was totally smooth as if I read that in order. I caught myself and then one girl leaned over and she said “that’s not what it says!” I was confused, but I do that often. If there is a list of groceries or something, I will read them out of order. I’m not sure why. My mom and sister get frustrated because when I read them phone number (they always call when they’re out and ask me to look up people’s numbers for them), I have to do it at least 2-3 times because I say “219, I mean, 912.” It gets old. 

Then, in co-op, I was in Chemistry. Well, I am also the writer for that. My other two lab partners are the ones who usually do most of the performing of the actual experiment while I write down the results. Well, when I go to read them back to them so they can have the results also, I will say “9.0” and they’re like “you mean 0.9?!” I always feel bad because it happens quite often and they seem to get a little bit frustrated because it makes a huge difference whether it’s 0.9 or 9.0 for example. I understand their frustration, I just can’t do anything about it! The one girl is always like “it’s your dyslexia kicking in”, and I always say “yeah, I guess so.” After messing up numbers multiple times, I started noticing how much of a problem this really is. I get upset with myself also because if I were to read the thermometer and write the number down, I’d be fine and the number would be correct. It’s when I have to verbalize my numbers and words that I get all mixed up. 

Anyway, it’s annoying to me and to others. My mom said she had been noticing it a lot, especially with phone numbers. My mom knows a lot about learning disablilties, as will has a form of dyslexia and Mary has disgraphia. Will is 11, almost 12, and just recently began being able to fully read. Mary, 10, has disgraphia which means that she can see a sentence, but when she goes to copy it onto paper, she can’t space things correctly. Her handwriting looks like a 1st graders because she has no concept of space and size. She has big letters, small letters, words put together with no space and words with big gaps between them. Mary sort of has what I have but in a different form-my brain has trouble talking to my mouth and Mary’s brain has trouble talking to her hands. Anyway, my mom has had a lot of experience with these types of things. She’s pretty sure she knows what I have, but I forget what it’s called. It’s some form of dyslexia and it can be fixed. =] I don’t really even care if it’s fixed truthfully, I just want to know that it’s not normal-I didn’t think anything was wrong with me, so it baffled me that I couldn’t speak! Now I can just say I have a disability =] 

Okay, so that’s all I wanted to say. It’s something I’m interested in and so I thought I would blog about it =]. Maybe when I write my second research paper I will pick a topic that has to do with learning disabilities. . . hm. 

That’s all.


Oh wait, and allergies suck, just wanted to let you know.


Twoknight =)

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondtheoutside @ 9:24 AM

“Tonight” just seemed a title that was too boring, so I had some fun with it =)

I get to go to church today @ three-thirty and stay there until about nine-thirty. We’re having the parents meeting for Cross Current and the youth are making/serving/cleaning up dinner. I’m very excited for a few reasons. 

First, I love being at church. Church feels so much like my home. Especially since Commissioned, when we camped out in the church for the weekend. I just love being in the house of worship. It’s quite peaceful and serene-I love it. I feel so at home and I never want to leave. 

Secondly, I get to spend those like 6 hours with some of my favorite people. Middle-schoolers and high-schoolers alike. I love my church family so much and I think that times like these are always good times and we laugh SO much and do many silly things. It always turns into a bonding session and we just seem to mesh really well. I’m also excited because normally it’s just like the high-schoolers doing this kind of stuff but this time the middle-school kids are helping too. This makes me really happy because since they will be there for the Community Group meetings with us high-schoolers, we should really be making effort to get to know them better. Even though they wont be in our smaller group, we’re hearing the same message and spending that time together. So this is a great opportunity to spend time with them, observe them and get to know them better. I feel that building relationships with them is extremely important and so I can’t wait. The car wash was also a great opportunity for that because we were working along side with each other and at one point I was on the hill holding signs with a middle-school girl and we were able to just talk and I could just listen to her tell me about her life. It was great. So I’m glad that I have that chance again. 

Third. I am glad that we get to serve some of the parents. It’s a good thing to see teens serving parents and it’s really encouraging to me to see that so many of the teens in my church my age want to serve the parents. It encourages me to want to do the same. I’m so thankful for the parents and the teens. 

And lastly, I’m happy because afterwards me and a few girls I haven’t talked to in a while are getting together. I miss two of the three so much because I haven’t seen them in what seems like forever and that makes me sad. I want to hear about their lives, school, family life, etc. 

Oh, and I’m glad because I’ll be back in church for the Sunday service about twelve hours after I leave the building!!! =] 

I also cannot wait to discuss chapters 9 & 10 with my Trusting God girls-I think all 5 (or 6, including Kristen) are going to be able to make it this time and that makes me smile. Even if we aren’t all there, it will still be good and I’m excited about that. =]


Psalms. September 18, 2008

Filed under: Friends,God showed/taught me/ect — beyondtheoutside @ 7:46 PM

Today, I was encouraged to keep myself in the Psalms.

This is exactly what I was told: “you should totally like MEMORIZE Psalms… it is awesome..I started praying them to and speaking to God using them and then it kinda got ingrained into my head, which is awesome. But if you aren’t you totally should….”

I normally will read a Psalm in the morning during my QT-but this just made me wanna read the Psalms more. So, since my plans for tonight were cancelled last minute, I chose to read some Psalms.

Anyway, I just wanted to share two verses that I memorized in the beginning of the summer-but slacked off and forgot them. When I read them again today, they really meant so much more to me. Here is the whole Psalm, but verses 25-26 are my favorite. This is also a Psalm that Joshua Harris told me to memorize =] He said specifically vs. 25-26-and it works out well because they’re my favorite!!! Anyway, without further ado . . .


English Standard Version (ESV)The Holy Bible, English Standard Version Copyright © 2001 byCrossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers.  



Psalm 73

God Is My Strength and Portion Forever
A Psalm of Asaph.

 1Truly God is good to Israel,
   to those who are pure in heart.
2But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled,
   my steps had nearly slipped.
3 For I was envious of the arrogant
   when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. 4For they have no pangs until death;
   their bodies are fat and sleek.
5They are not in trouble as others are;
   they are not stricken like the rest of mankind.
6Therefore pride is their necklace;
   violence covers them as a garment.
7Their eyes swell out through fatness;
   their hearts overflow with follies.
8They scoff and speak with malice;
   loftily they threaten oppression.
9They set their mouths against the heavens,
   and their tongue struts through the earth.
10Therefore his people turn back to them,
   and find no fault in them.
11And they say, “How can God know?
   Is there knowledge in the Most High?”
12Behold, these are the wicked;
   always at ease, they increase in riches.
13All in vain have I kept my heart clean
   and washed my hands in innocence.
14For all the day long I have been stricken
   and rebuked every morning.
15If I had said, “I will speak thus,”
   I would have betrayed the generation of your children.

 16But when I thought how to understand this,
   it seemed to me a wearisome task,
17until I went into the sanctuary of God;
   then I discerned their end.

 18Truly you set them in slippery places;
   you make them fall to ruin.
19How they are destroyed in a moment,
   swept away utterly by terrors!
20Like a dream when one awakes,
   O Lord, when you rouse yourself, you despise them as phantoms.
21When my soul was embittered,
   when I was pricked in heart,
22I was brutish and ignorant;
   I was like a beast toward you.

 23Nevertheless, I am continually with you;
   you hold my right hand.
24You guide me with your counsel,
   and afterward you will receive me to glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
   And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
   but God is the strength of my heart and my portion foreve

 27For behold, those who are far from you shall perish;
   you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.
28But for me it is good to be near God;
   I have made the Lord GOD my refuge,
   that I may tell of all your works



Church Car Wash/ Yard Sale September 12, 2008

Filed under: Life — beyondtheoutside @ 2:52 PM

So I’m really excited. The church yard sale/car wash tomorrow. It’s always a blast and there are so many people from the community. Church is so full the next morning. It really makes me smile. Michele, who always leads it-and does a GREAT job by the way- said she wont be there tomorrow. My first thought was “how are we going to do this! we can’t do anything without michele!” I know we’ll be fine-but it will be weird. Anyway, so she asked me if I’d help Bethany Davis sorta keep things make sure people have water/food and stuff. Even though it’s not a big deal or a huge job, it makes me glad that I’ll be able to help Bethany so she can better serve us. I know Beth will do a great job. I’m super excited because I love church and I’m so happy I can serve the church in this way. =)


Shout out. September 11, 2008

Filed under: Friends,heaven — beyondtheoutside @ 6:32 PM

You wont REALLY understand this unless you are Jenelle.
“I need you to make me a promise. If we never see each other or meet each other in THIS life, will you promise to find me in heaven? I was thinking about that today and it gave me the BIGGEST smile =).”

❤ ya!