So this happened a few weeks ago, but I was reminded about this Thursday.
I was at co-op, waiting for my ride to leave… I sat on the floor, watching all the moms scrambling to keep their kids by their sides. I saw the little kids playing freeze dance, sweating from running around. I head the babies crying. I’m an observant person, so I love watching the people every Thursday as I sit, waiting to leave.
About 2-3 weeks ago, I saw the Smiths getting ready to leave. Abbey had the cutest little owl jacket on. I commented on it, telling her how cute it was…I told her I was wondering if they had it in my size! We talked about it for a minute and she showed me the tag; it was from Target. I said I’d have to go see if they had it sometime. After a minute of two of small talk, Mrs T was ready to go. We said our goodbyes.
Since the time I saw the jacket and talked about it with her, I truthfully did not give it much thought. I mean, yeah, it was cute…She’s like 7 though, I’m not sure if it’d look too young on my since I’m 16…Anyway, I pretty much forgot about it.
This week I was sitting in my usual spot by the door, once again watching all the homeschooled families. Again, the Smiths walked by. Abbey was walking out the door, but then stopped, stuck her head back in, looked at me and smiled, then asked if I had gotten the jacket yet. I replied, telling her I had not, unfortunately. She smiled and left.
I was just thinking about that today…And I was thinking how, though I had pretty much forgotten about the comment I had made, Abbey had done everything but forgotten. I was just thinking about how a small conversation like that can have an impact on someone. I’m more than twice her age-I wonder if she was flattered that I had complimented her jacket-I would be if someone significantly complimented my outfit.
Anyway, it mostly made me think about how people younger than me watch me-everything I do and say. I was convicted about this…a year ago-give or take. I had just been freshly reminded that the choices that I make are not just my own. When I saw one of the younger girls copying the way I spoke, I was utterly surprised. It woke me up. It made me re-evaluate my life. It was good for me. And when Abbey reminded me of our little, seemingly unimportant, conversation, I woke up again. She remembered. It just made me think about how I have started to slip a little bit with how conscious I am in what I wear, how I speak, the way that I respond to my authorities, ect and how that impacts younger girls.
Okay, I feel that my thoughts have spiraled out of control and now they are not at all organized…The point of this was just that I am reminded that I have to think about how the choices I make affect people around me. That does not mean just younger people, but that is primarily where my focus has been. So I am just going to try to stay more aware of the way that I live and how the girls that are younger than me are watching me. Scary. In a way, it’s an honor, but it is most definitely a big responsibility. I feel that it is important to set a good example since the girls younger than me not only watch-but follow.
Okay, that’s all… Hopefully I made a little sense…