OnlyGrace

2 months later! March 2, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondtheoutside @ 10:18 AM

I have never been one that is into New Years resolutions. Personally, I find them dumb. This year though, I am going to make a couple resolutions. . .
1)During the year 2009 I want to be open. Open to help, open to peoples input, advice, and correction. I have noticed what a closed off person I am. Scared of being manipulated, I push away most people in my life and I hardly listen to what people say. I’m going to be open to consider what people have to say to me. I feel that I can do that, or at least to attempt.
–> Well, this is real hard. But I\’m working on it with some people. I\’ve been able to get to meet more people and just talk with them-not thinking about how they\’re gonna try to hurt me or what not. It allows me to build relationships and strengthen the ones I already have. I\’ve been able to talk about some real hard things with one friend in particular.
2)My second resolution is that I am going to try harder. In the beginning of 2008 I was trying, but not giving it my all. As the year progressed, I got weaker and just burnt out. I was exhausted from fighting and just worn out. I gave up. I gave in. This year I will do my best to fight as hard as is possible. I’m not going to say that I will succeed or even once, but that I am going to do my best. I want to look back on this coming year and not regret not giving it my all like I will this year.
–> This is really hard. Academically I have been trying harder than ever. Let me say this-it is beyond exhausting. I\’m sure it\’s worth it, but it is really hard work. I have to kinda sit down and look at this resolution and see what exactly that looks like for me though because it\’s hard and I\’m not sure that it\’s working how I planned because it\’s just so tiring-mentally, physically, spiritually.
3)Third resolution. My third resolution will be that I am going to memorize more scripture. This year I did memorize a ton of scripture, but I would memorize it, remember it for a while, then slack off and forget. 2 verses (or set of verses) each month. That is reasonable and hopefully I will get more than that, but my memorization skills suck so we’ll see. I feel that if I can memorize the entire periodic table in like a month, then I can memorize some scripture. I’ll post what scriptures I will be memorizing (or for most, re-memorizing) this coming year at a later time.
–> I have the first FOUR memorized! YAY! I wasn\’t hardly home at all yesterday except for like 2 hours before bed, so I didn\’t have a chance to start memorizing the next two verses. I plan to start them today. I\’m loving the fruit this produces!
4)Fourth resolution is that I am going to read 6 books that will help me to grow spiritually. I have 4 of the 6 picked out already, but I will post the names of all 6 later also. I wanted to do 12, but with everything that will be going on this year, that is not reasonable.
–> I finished my first \”listed\” book and I have read like 5 or 6 others. Reading is my new stress reliever.
5)This year I would also like to ATTEMPT to think reasonably. As often as is possible I am going to try to catch myself when I am setting unrealistic expectations for myself. By the end of the year I would like to say that I am a more reasonable thinker. Even if I only change a little bit in this area, that will be a huge step.
–> Uh-fail? Pretty much. I\’m not really improving much in this area. I\’m seeing when I\’m not thinking resonably, but it\’s just been a hard month to put this into practice.
6)The other thing that I will attempt this year is that I am going to try to change the way that I think into a more positive thinker. I often can recognize when I am thinking negatively and I would like to change that. Again, any progress in this area is a big change for me.
–> I\’m doing a little better. The thing is, I\’m a pessamist. I don\’t want to or plan to change into an optimist. That just isn\’t who I am. I don\’t think it\’s a bad thing to be a pessamist, I just think that I have to control it sort of. So I\’m trying to find that balance-there is SOMETHING that is between being negative all the time and being positive all the time. This goes with the post that I was saying about black and white-there is a middle ground in this instance, I just have to find it.
7) I want to become a more caring and relatable person. There are a few types of people that I just have the hardest time relating to. When people are so different from me, I tend to just pull away from them because I don’t know what to do or say or what their interests are. I plan to try to talk with them more and try to identify more with them. I know that this will take intentionality and work, but I am prepared for that I actually have an opportunity to start this one right now, so I really should go do that. . .
–> God has been doing some cool things in this area, especially with people that I have lost touch with and I\’m reconnecting with, people that I never knew I cared about, and people that I\’m just meeting. So that\’s been cool to see play out in my life the past month.
8 ) This year I would like to learn how to take better pictures. I got a new camera earlier this year because my first Kodak Easyshare camera broke (r.i.p. I loved that camera-it was good to me). I have a nicer fugifilm camera now and I would like to get books from the library and read them, do some internet research and talk to people who are way better at taking pictures than I am.
–> I haven\’t done anything in this yet. I most likely wont attack this area until later in the year, most likely summer. I have NO time for that right now. I honestly haven\’t really even been taking many pictures in general.
9) Something I have learned is crucial in life is peace and quiet. In my house full of 8 people, 10 when we’re all here, it can be a little hectic (to say the least). I would like to try to take more time, at least 2 times a month, to sit in peace. I can read or write or draw or think or anything, but I want to make time to be alone and in peace and quiet. This will be hard to make that time, but I love quiet so it will be good. Plus, once I have my license I can drive to a quiet place or just sit in the car somewhere that isn’t home. It will be awesome and good for my life.
–> I got it in once this month! Twice is just so hard! It\’s nice when I have \”guilt free\” free time-where it\’s planned so I dont feel like I should be somewhere else or doing something else.
10) I WILL get a pet! I would like to get a bunny, but I will settle for a fish or turtle or something else if I must. I have many legit reasons why an animal would be good for my life. I can’t wait
–> STILL working on my parents with this one. . .
11)This year I want to have better posture. When I danced I really did have awesome posture and over the past two years it’s gotten bad. I want to sit up straight and hold my shoulders back. It will make me look taller and I just love seeing people sitting with good posture. I’m sure it’s good for my back and stuff too.
–> One of the hardest resolutions. Talk about breaking habits-this is so difficult!
12)I want to be more of an encouragement. A reachable goal for me this year is to encourage at least one person a week. In writing, words, e-mail, or other means of communication, I would like to be more of an encouragement in the world. Hopefully I will encourage more than one person a week, but that is what I would like to do. I also know that when I encourage others it helps me because I have to usually see and point out the GOOD things in people and it helps me to be positive and not think so negatively while also helping me think of others and look for the good things in others and where God is working most in their life.
–> I have tried to intentionally encourage one person a week (card, phone call, e-mail, etc.) and its been going well for the most part.

I am excited for what this year will bring.
1)In 2009I will take my first winterm-Check!
2)In 2009 I will get my license-Finished drivers ed. I have all four of my driving sessions with my instructor planned. One step closer!
3)In 2009 I will graduate high-school-May 17th!
4)In 2009 I will take my SAT’s-March 21st. The pressure is on.
5)In 2009 I will start and finish my first semester of college classes-Not till September
6)In 2009 I will get my first real job-Contract signed!

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2 Responses to “2 months later!”

  1. zoanna Says:

    You are quite the goal setter, girl .

    Reading through this post, I was wondering how being a pessimist and the mandate from Phil 4:8 mesh? Let me know.

    And I was also thinking how Curie-ous you are about chemistry and that it’s funny that you memorized the periodic table. We are SO different in that regard:).

    See you tomorrow.

    • beyondtheoutside Says:

      Mrs. Zo,
      That chemistry pun was really funny! hahaha.
      And I believe that being a pessamist, with balance, can be a good thing. I think that I am not always down cast or thinking about sad or terrible things that could happen-but when I’m considering a situation and what may come of it, I tend to see the bad things that could happen. I have overly optimistic friends who can fail to even consider the bad that could come out of their choices-and when we talk together, we are able to find a good balance out of it.


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