Finally! December 6, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — beyondtheoutside @ 11:51 PM

Finally, I think I figured out why I have Bells Palsy. Yeah, since there is a logical reason. You won’t understand and probably wont believe me. Yes I will! That, or you’ll think I’m joking. But nevertheless, I will say that I am dead serious.

I think God gave me bells palsy because he wanted me to laugh. Right, God gave you bells palsy because making you go to the ER, be in pain for multiple days, go a week with little to no sleep, and having to pop pills every couple hours so you would…laugh. Okay, Maggie, okay. Let me explain. Look at the picture below. That is after almost ten days of medicine. Yes, I’m sure you’re probably laughing. I look silly. I look even worse when I’m laughing or smiling real big. It makes people laugh.

For a while now, I’ve lost my sense of humor. Yeah, Maggie not happy? Yeah right. It’s not that I wasn’t happy, I just wasn’t laughing. That doesn’t make sense, I’m pretty sure. No, it does. I wasn’t depressed or anything, I just didn’t find any reason to laugh. Life’s been boring and I’ve been so bogged down by school that I haven’t had time to laugh. Who doesn’t have time to laugh? Me. I forgot to laugh. I forgot to find things funny. How do you forget to find things funny? Well, you stop appreciating the little things in life. You forgot that you’re only barely 17. You fail to remember how blessed you are. That’s how.

Having Bells Palsy has made me laugh. At first it was on Thanksgiving. I was pretty miserable and confused at first. …and how is that funny? It was funny because as the day progressed my face and all got worse and worse, making me look sillier and sillier. My family was literally rolling on the floor laughing, causing me to laugh. It was hysterical. Then, at the ER the Dr. and nurses were cracking up. They felt bad, of course, for laughing-but they couldn’t help it. I just looked plain silly. Then, at the Beachmont staff thing that I went to that night, I was making people laugh so hard as “two face” (aka ME) tried to laugh. Then, I went to my friends house to see her aunt. They were all laughing then, too. Various times throughout the week I had people laughing too. Then, Friday night I really realized it. I haven’t laughed as hard as I did Friday night in-well, far too long. It was great. It was just a vicious cycle of someone-says-something-funny-i-start-laughing-then-everyone-laughs-at-my-face. It was so funny. I laughed so hard. My soul was incredibly refreshed by that. I needed it so much! It felt great! So, when I was leaving Friday night I told my friend, Chrissy, that I know why God gave me bells palsy- I think he wanted to remind me about laughter. I mean, maybe some would say it was a lesson in humility, but honestly-it doesn’t bother me. I know it will get better. I’m mature enough to know that it’s funny-I laugh with them. I laugh at myself when I’m skyping and have to see my own face, haha. Yesterday my sister came over and I had her laughing so hard she was crying in the middle of Target due to my face!

So, I can truly say I am thankful for bells palsy. NOw that I know how to laugh again, I would like my face back, haha. It’s going away and improving incredibly, but it’s still not 100%. Luckily, you can’t notice it unless I try to smile big or laugh. And my left eye still doesn’t blink that well. But, thank you, God, for bells palsy. I’m sorry it took me so long to remember that I am loved and that you provide so many ways that I should be laughing. Thank you for this reminder and I am truly sorry that I lost sight of how blessed I am. It should not have taken this much for me to remember to laugh. Love, Maggie.

My bells palsy smile and Prednisone. yuck.


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