As you know, I’ve been listening to a TON of Mark Driscoll as of late. In a recent sermon I listened to, Pastor Mark talked about friendships. I loved his definition he posted:
a friend is a trustworthy peer with whom we mutually choose to lovingly live with by seeking unique access and service for God’s glory and our mutual good.
Trustworthy: You can trust this person and talk to them freely. You know that what you tell them wont go around as gossip to others
Peer: They’re somewhat in the same place as you. There are a LOT of different relational titles. Friend is important. The title matters. There are parent-child, teacher-student, pastor-congregation, doctor-patient, acquaintance, etc. But a friend is someone who is a peer.
Who mutually choose: You BOTH choose to be friends. You both hold weight and importance to the relationship and want to work at it together, knowing that two sinners sharing life together will not be easy.
To lovingly live with: As friends, you do life together and share your lives with one another. You have to do it lovingly. It wont work any other way, trust me.
By seeking unique access and service: As a person’s friend, you have unique access. Pastor Mark was saying how you can’t just call up anyone at 2am and expect them to be there for you. You can’t just show up anywhere uninvited/unexpected and hope to be welcomed in warmly. As friends, you have unique access to each other. You wouldn’t give your doctor or student your cell phone number, but you would offer to a friend.
For God’s glory and our mutual good: Do I have to expand on this? We work together, share life, have access to, and serve all for God’s glory. We have mutually chosen to be friends for God’s glory. But also for our mutual good. We serve, help, teach each other. We both give, we both take.
Anyway, I just really enjoyed his insight and wanted to share some of my thoughts as well as his. I got to talk with a friend yesterday about friendships and about this definition. As friends, you have to agree with what a friendship is, what the terms are, and what you’re expecting. So while it seems strange to have a definition of what a friendship IS, I think it’s quite necessary.