2009. December 31, 2008

I have never been one that is into New Years resolutions. Personally, I find them dumb. This year though, I am going to make a couple resolutions. . .
1)During the year 2009 I want to be open. Open to help, open to peoples input, advice, and correction. I have noticed what a closed off person I am. Scared of being manipulated, I push away most people in my life and I hardly listen to what people say. I’m going to be open to consider what people have to say to me. I feel that I can do that, or at least to attempt.
2)My second resolution is that I am going to try harder. In the beginning of 2008 I was trying, but not giving it my all. As the year progressed, I got weaker and just burnt out. I was exhausted from fighting and just worn out. I gave up. I gave in. This year I will do my best to fight as hard as is possible. I’m not going to say that I will succeed or even once, but that I am going to do my best. I want to look back on this coming year and not regret not giving it my all like I will this year.
3)Third resolution. My third resolution will be that I am going to memorize more scripture. This year I did memorize a ton of scripture, but I would memorize it, remember it for a while, then slack off and forget. 2 verses (or set of verses) each month. That is reasonable and hopefully I will get more than that, but my memorization skills suck so we’ll see. I feel that if I can memorize the entire periodic table in like a month, then I can memorize some scripture. I’ll post what scriptures I will be memorizing (or for most, re-memorizing) this coming year at a later time.
4)Fourth resolution is that I am going to read 6 books that will help me to grow spiritually. I have 4 of the 6 picked out already, but I will post the names of all 6 later also. I wanted to do 12, but with everything that will be going on this year, that is not reasonable.
5)This year I would also like to ATTEMPT to think reasonably. As often as is possible I am going to try to catch myself when I am setting unrealistic expectations for myself. By the end of the year I would like to say that I am a more reasonable thinker. Even if I only change a little bit in this area, that will be a huge step.
6)The other thing that I will attempt this year is that I am going to try to change the way that I think into a more positive thinker. I often can recognize when I am thinking negatively and I would like to change that. Again, any progress in this area is a big change for me.
7) I want to become a more caring and relatable person. There are a few types of people that I just have the hardest time relating to. When people are so different from me, I tend to just pull away from them because I don’t know what to do or say or what their interests are. I plan to try to talk with them more and try to identify more with them. I know that this will take intentionality and work, but I am prepared for that 🙂 I actually have an opportunity to start this one right now, so I really should go do that. . .
8 ) This year I would like to learn how to take better pictures. I got a new camera earlier this year because my first Kodak Easyshare camera broke (r.i.p. I loved that camera-it was good to me). I have a nicer fugifilm camera now and I would like to get books from the library and read them, do some internet research and talk to people who are way better at taking pictures than I am.
9) Something I have learned is crucial in life is peace and quiet. In my house full of 8 people, 10 when we’re all here, it can be a little hectic (to say the least). I would like to try to take more time, at least 2 times a month, to sit in peace. I can read or write or draw or think or anything, but I want to make time to be alone and in peace and quiet. This will be hard to make that time, but I love quiet so it will be good. Plus, once I have my license I can drive to a quiet place or just sit in the car somewhere that isn’t home. It will be awesome and good for my life.
10) I WILL get a pet! I would like to get a bunny, but I will settle for a fish or turtle or something else if I must. I have many legit reasons why an animal would be good for my life. I can’t wait 🙂
11)This year I want to have better posture. When I danced I really did have awesome posture and over the past two years it’s gotten bad. I want to sit up straight and hold my shoulders back. It will make me look taller and I just love seeing people sitting with good posture. I’m sure it’s good for my back and stuff too.
12)I want to be more of an encouragement. A reachable goal for me this year is to encourage at least one person a week. In writing, words, e-mail, or other means of communication, I would like to be more of an encouragement in the world. Hopefully I will encourage more than one person a week, but that is what I would like to do. I also know that when I encourage others it helps me because I have to usually see and point out the GOOD things in people and it helps me to be positive and not think so negatively while also helping me think of others and look for the good things in others and where God is working most in their life.

I am excited for what this year will bring.
1)In 2009I will take my first winterm- Check
2)In 2009 I will get my license-Check
3)In 2009 I will graduate high-school-Check
4)In 2009 I will take my SAT’s-yikes.-Check
5)In 2009 I will start and finish my first semester of college classes-check
6)In 2009 I will get my first real job-Check

I feel that I can choose to be scared or excited about those things. Each of them brings different emotions and expectations and fears. I know that I will succeed at each of those (some of them maybe not on the first try-see #2) and I am confident that God will give me the strength to do well at each of those.

2009-Here I come. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

Investment Wisdom 2009 December 29, 2008

Go listen to this message, it will be well worth your time

http://www.gracecommunity.org/index.php?pID=37

http://www.gracecommunity.org/index.php?pID=38

Standards and Hypocrisy

The past two days I have been doing lots of thinking about standards and hypocrisy. While talking with a friend yesterday she graciously pointed out that I hold other people to such high standards, but I don’t hold myself to those standards. Example 1: I expect other people not to lie to me, but I lie to myself about 90% of the day. When she brought this to my attention and asked me to chew on that, it really got me thinking. I don’t really have too much to say about it at this point, because I am still trying to figure out why I allow myself to do what I hate others doing. Example 2: I hate other manipulating me and I do everything I can to protect myself from that (sometimes I’m too overly cautious). Although I say I hate that, I allow myself to manipulate myself into doing all sorts of things. There are numerous examples I could pull out, but there is no need to do that. I am just trying to figure out why I have this habit.

In some strange way am I protecting myself by doing these things to myself?
Is it possible I am trying to punish myself f by doing them?
Maybe I am trying to show myself why I hate it so much?
Maybe I don’t like others doing it, not so much because I have been hurt by people who have done those things to me, but because I myself do those things to myself?

Those are just some things I am thinking about.

 

12/25 December 25, 2008

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Snow! December 16, 2008

I really loved the snow on Janet’s blog. I got really jealous so I copied her and added snow to my blog. 🙂

Field Trip! December 15, 2008

…To Mrs. Zubrowski’s blog.

She just recently posted a blog about Christmas and it pretty much sums up everything I have been thinking.
http://zoanna.blogspot.com/2008/12/christmas-on-outside.html

Sesame Street!
Old school baby
“special” bus haha

How Many Kings would do that for me? Only one.

 

 

 

So you must watch this video right now. Actually, you don’t even need to watch it, just listen to the song.

Here are the lyrics:

DOWNHERE LYRICS – How Many Kings

Follow the star to a place unexpected
Would you believe after all we’ve projected
A child in a manger

Lowly and small, the weakest of all
Unlikeliness hero, wrapped in his mothers shawl
Just a child
Is this who we’ve waited for?

Cause how many kings, stepped down from their thrones?
How many lords have abandoned their homes?
How many greats have become the least for me?
How many Gods have poured out their hearts
To romance a world that has torn all apart?
How many fathers gave up their sons for me?

Bringing our gifts for the newborn savior
All that we have whether costly or meek
Because we believe
Gold for his honor and frankincense for his pleasure
And myrrh for the cross he’ll suffer
Do you believe, is this who we’ve waited for?
It’s who we’ve waited for

How many kings, stepped down from their thrones?
How many lords have abandoned their homes?
How many greats have become the least for me?
How many Gods have poured out their hearts
To romance a world that has torn all apart?
How many fathers gave up their sons for me?
Only one did that for me

All for me
All for you
All for me
All for you

Single Song Words by Artist / Band : DOWNHERE
Lyrics Title : How Many Kings

If you know me, you know I hate Christmas (or if you read the post before this one. . .) I hate Christmas music especially. I have to admit that I really like this song though. It’s the closest thing to Christmas music that I will get. I really like the chorus especially. At Christmas, in the Christian community, I feel that different people/churches focus on different parts of the story of salvation during this season. At the play at my church yesterday it was a lot about like Christ being the savior and how we need to be saved. I would fully agree with that, but this year I have been focusing right where this song is focused. I’ve been meditating on and thinking a lot about and trying to grasp Christ’s love and how he humbled himself to come to earth. I mean, I would go to heaven without a question if I had the option right now (without like dying, you know). Christ was in heaven and chose to come to earth. God was with his son for eternity and chose to send him away from his right side. That is incredible. As I think about this truth and love, I think about how all the other idols I allow in my life-don’t do that. None of my idols, whether people or things, are even worth comparing. The material things in my life don’t care about me. The people that I allow to become my idols, they don’t love me nearly as much as Christ does, they wouldn’t sacrifice what Christ did for me. I just love thinking about that. I cannot help but smack myself upside the head for allowing those things to come be first in my life. How crazy and unwise of me!
I also love the line in the song where they talk about bringing our gifts, whatever we have, because we believe. So often I don’t bring myself or my praise to the Lord soley because I believe. I guess that idea of bringing gifts to bless, because we believed. Thinking about it, these shepards, the lowly people in the ranks, they saw Christ first. Though he was just a baby, they believed. The three wise men, they brought gifts to this little baby, born into a poor family in a stable and wrapped in a cloth. The wise men brought gifts because they believed. I know the entire story of Christ’s coming and everything and I still have doubt and disbelief at times. The wise men and shepards had no real reason to believe that this baby was the savior, messiah, coming king. I mean, wow. That’s all I have to say. I pray that I will one day have the faith of the shepards and wise men.
Alright, well those were my thoughts about this Christmas song 🙂

Best picture of “King Jesus” that I could find. MY king Jesus.

My Christmas Spirit (Er, lackthereof)

This will most likely be a really hard to follow post, just as a warning.

Um, so for the past 2-3 years I have had a dislike of Christmas. I cannot stand Christmas. The plays, music, gifts, trees, lights, events, clothing, everything. I really don’t like anything that is Christmasy. To be a jerk this year I took some garland that we had and I put it up all around my door-three different kinds of garland! The other day my mom was like “your door looks so festive!” I replied saying, “mom, I did that only because it’s funny since I hate Christmas.” She got upset because she hates that I hate Christmas. This year my goal is to figure out the “why” of this Christmas issue I have. I really do not like Christmas at all and I really don’t even want to celebrate it, but I will.
Well, here is what I have come up with:
1) The whole season is too long and drawn out. I mean, if Christmas and the hustle and lights and music were for a week tops, I’d be okay with that. But no, Christmas is at least a month every year!
2) I don’t like that the only music I can hear on a Christian station is Christmas music. I really do like Christian music, but almost all of December is filled with me listening to secular music. Music has such and impact on my mood and my attitude and everything that listening to Christian music really is a must for me. I do have a few Cd’s, but I like the variety that I get from listening to the radio. Anyway, point: I hate Christmas music and I have two choices during December: Christmas or Secular.
3) Christmas makes me sad. I tend to get really depressed because everyone gets sucked in. I have really been trying to figure how to say what I am thinking without sounding completely and utterly cliche, especially if Mrs. Zubrowsk  is reading 😉 Okay, well because I can’t come up with anything original, I will use the phrase “the reason for the season.” I really wish that the purpose and “meaning” of Christmas was portrayed in people’s lives more clearly. During Christmas I feel that most all people, Christians totally included, just get so distracted. Even when we go to church for the plays or the services, I feel that nobody is really savoring this time and really reflecting on the “true meaning” of Christmas. It makes me really sad when I see people sad at Christmas (makes a lot of sense, right?). When I see people just like running around like chickens with their heads cut off or being so depressed because they can’t be with their family or their family is a mess so they cannot all be together for the holidays. I wish that people really got it. I wish that Christmas wasn’t about being happy and wasn’t about being nice and giving and spending time with family. While all those things are nice, they’re only like subtopics. The reason behind all of those things is so much greater. How can people say they are celebrating Christmas or singing “Silent night” when they don’t even know what the meaning or purpose or story is. Little kids know all about St. Valentine, yet the know nothing about Christmas. 3 year old children could draw a picture of Santa but have never heard Jesus’ name? All of this makes me a little angry but mostly sad for these people. I go out to stores and the people wont even say Merry Christmas to me, even if  I dare say it to them. I’ll get “happy holidays” or see “seasons greetings” signs, but no Merry Christmas. I mean, come on, the holiday IS Christmas, if they didn’t forget. I really wish that Christmas was celebrated the way it should be. If the holiday were not such a big deal in society, I would vouch to celebrate it in a different way, or not at all. It is nearly impossible to not celebrate Christmas though. . .Especially when you live in a family and you don’t decide how Christmas will go. *sigh* I really love the story of what Christmas is and I love that Jesus came to earth, from heaven *see following post* It makes me sad taht no one seems to thinking about that at all during Christmas time. I miss being little and not caring or noticing. By the way again, I think that some people aren’t this way, but I say all only because it seems to me that it’s the majority of the USA population.
Well, that is about all that I have come up with for now. I might come up with other reasons, but we’ll see.
I really still don’t like Christmas. It will take some big steps to change my opinion.

 

The most amazing food ever.

Okay, so I love making omelets. I shouldn’t really eat and of the dairy products in thisrecipe, but oh well. I’m willing to feel crappy for a few hours because this just tastes so good. I just thought I’d share this recipe with you because it’s so amazingly good.

Okay, so you get a bowl and put two eggs, a cut up 1/2 of tomato (or 3 cherry tomatoes), some onion, mild or med salsa, bacon pieces, sharp cheddar cheese, a pinch of salt, some pepper, oregano, basil, and parsley. Mix all of those together in a bowl, add a little bit of milk to make it fluffy, then cook it on med on the stove. It is the most wonderful thing. Oh, and make some toast on wheat bread to get with it and a cup of OJ. It will be the best breakfast ever. Alright, that’s all.

 

 

Dr.’s x 7! December 10, 2008

What a week!

Okay, so Monday morning I got really sick. I had a fever, I was throwing up and I had really really terrible pain in my stomach. I was screaming and crying and it was bad. When my mom came home from the doctor and found me in this state, she called the doctor who told me to come in. The doctor was a little worried that the pain could be my appendix, so she wanted me to come in to make sure I am okay. I went to the doctro around 2.30 and she was a little worried. She wanted me to get some tests done (blood work, ultra sounds, etc) to see what is causing me this pain. I had another appointment for January with something else that is wrong with my stomach but now because of this she wanted me to be seen earlier, so she called my other doctor and told her to see me this week. This week has been so full of doctor appointments, it’s crazy!  Check out this week:
Monday: Sick all day then doctor around 2.30 I went to get blood work done after the doctor, but the place was closed.
Tuesday: Dr.  at 2, blood work at 3.30
Wednesday: Doctor at 3.15, pharmacy to get medicine, doctor at 6pm
Thursday: Thursday is just babysitting my siblings, then babysitting for a family in the church 5.30-9.
Friday: Dentist at 11.30am
Friends coming over for dinner and a movie, should be fun!
Saturday: Doctors appointment at 9.15am.
Sunday: Church, church play later that night again.
Monday: I am getting two ultra sounds at 8.30am, so I have to get up at 6.30 am and in one hour I must drink 24oz of water and not pee until after I get the test done. I also have to eat a fat free dinner on Sunday and no food after 8.30 that night.
Tuesday: Dr. appt at 2pm

Luckily I am pretty much done school for this semester, so if I am gonna get sick, now is the time! Although this has been painful and not at all fun, I am very thankful that the Lord has provided me with Dr. Appts. Things we had been waiting 2 months to get appointments for, I got scheduled for the next day! The appointment I was supposed to go to in January and I had scheduled all the way back in October, I got that appt. bumped up to today. That was a wonderful blessing. I hope and pray that the tests will show the doctors what is bringing me this pain and that we can affectively do things to remove the pain. Until then, my stomach sorta just feels on fire. The pain is getting less and less each day, but it is not fun. Anyway, I’d love the prayers. 🙂