Thankfulness November 20, 2009

Just simple things I am thankful for…one for each day in November thus far.

1. Food. I’m thankful for food. God made the Earth with food. I love it, most of the time. When I’m hungry, there is always food. So many people make thanksgiving about food, and so with that on my mind, I’m thankful for food and the abundant supply that we, as Americans, have.

2. My bed. No, not just that I have A bed, but that I have MY bed. I have one of the best beds in the world. I would stay in it all day if I could. I have tons of pillows, tons of blankets, just the right amount of things. I just love that I have my bed. I am truly thankful for it.

3. Schooling. It’s not always easy to be thankful for education, but when I think about it, I am blessed to be in college. Many people do not have the option of going to college. However, via financial aid, I am having my college paid for. It’s so great to know that I can achieve my dreams and go to college to get to my dreams. Without going to college I could never succeed in the field of work that I want to go into. I am thankful for an education.

4. Music. I love music so much. It can be so many different things to me. It can be soothing and relaxing, stress relieving, an outlet of my emotions, a way to remind me of truths, and so much more. I just love music and I’m thankful God created music.

5. Freedom of speech. With Christina in China, I have to be careful about words I use in my e-mails and chats to her. She does not have freedom of speech and religion. It makes me sick to think that I have so much freedom, yet act like I am in bondage. The only thing I am in bondage to is my own pride. I have the freedom to scream Jesus’ name from mountain tops, yet I avoid the topic while conversing with friends from school.

6. A car. I don’t have a car right now and I didn’t realize how blessed I was to have a car. It’s great to know that I was blessed with a car. Not everyone my age has a car. And I don’t have car payments, that’s great. I love not having to pay monthly car bills. Someone donated my car to me, and she’s a beauty (in my eyes anyway…).I didn’t realize how blessed I was to have a car until I didn’t have one. Typical. This picture is NOT my car. It’s far too young and in far too good of shape to be mine 😛

7. Internet. Think about how useful the internet is. I just love that I have it. I’m so thankful for it. Plus, without it, I wouldnt be able to talk to Chris while she’s in China. Along with this goes Skype, by the way.

8. New friends. Enough said. New friends at school, at work, etc. I love my new friends so much.

9. Writing-especially letters. I love writing so much and I’m thankful for it. I’m thankful I have two hands and ten fingers and pen and paper and stamps and envelopes.

10. Sleep. I really need it sometimes. I just love it.

11. The Bible. I know that sounds very…typical, but I am. I am so thankful for the Bible. I’m thankful for every word in it, thankful that it’s living, thankful for the encouragement it brings.

12. Jobs. So many people are out of work right now. Not only do I have a job, but I also babysit on a regular basis which really really adds up. I also was even able to add a day so that I work more. I’m thankful for a job.

13. Weekends and Sunday. I am thankful that God has told us to rest one day out of 7. I really need to remember sometimes that He TOLD me to rest.

14. Good books. I LOVE a good read!

15. Mended relationships.

16. Games. I love mancala and Yahtzee. I really am thankful for them. You wouldn’t understand why.

17. A creative mind. I wouldn’t normally say I have a creative mind, but with a couple things I do. I can think out of the box and I have a little creativity when it comes to card-making. I’m thankful that God gave me a creative mind.

18. I am thankful for memories. I am so thankful that God gave me a mind that remembers things. It’s an amazing thing to remember memories, to smile and think of something good that has happened.

19. I am thankful for hot water. I know that sounds kind of silly, but i’m dead serious. I am so thankful for hot water.

20. I am thankful for beauty. It reminds me to thank God. I am thankful for beauty in nature and people and things.

21. I am thankful for my own room. For 16 years (or so…) I shared a room. Sometimes it was with my older brother, sometimes with my twin, sometimes with my little sister, sometimes with my big sister, sometimes with my big and little sister. I can’t complain, we did laugh a lot-but we fought a lot too. Having my own room for a year (or so…) now is just amazing. I so take it for granted. But I’m thankful that I can be in my own room, that my dad works hard to pay for this house, and that my sister moved out so I could have my own room (is that bad to be thankful for….?). This is NOT a picture of my room, by the way.

22. Understanding. I am thankful for God giving people understanding. The dictionary would define the word “understanding” as “mental process of a person who comprehends.” This can be used and thought of in many different ways. Likewise, I am thankful for understanding in many different ways. I am thankful that I understand school work. I don’t have any real big learning issues that keep me from understanding educational things that I am supposed to learn at school. I am thankful that God has put a desire in my heart to understand what others are feeling, what’s going on. God often opens doors for people to, well, share their lives with me. People tend to be surprisingly open with me. Some say it’s because I want to be a social worker (…and counselor in that field). I say it is because God does some cool things. Anyway, I am thankful that God helps me understand things. I am thankful for others who understand. I mean this in a couple different ways also. I am thankful for people that understand in their brains what is going on in my life. I can share my life with them and they are able to understand, even if they haven’t lived through a situation even close to similar. They give me wisdom that I’m so thankful for. Then there are those in my life who understand in a different way. Maybe “get me” is a better term. They have lived through things, so through experience, they understand. I am thankful for these people and for their God-given ability to understand, however it may be that they understand. Can I just say it is getting harder and harder to find pictures to go with these things I’m thankful for!?

23. Dreams. I was excited when I thought about this one. I couldn’t decide which thing I should post I was thankful for then I thought about dreams and knew I couldn’t go without posting that today. I don’t mean dreams like, “I had a dream while sleeping.” I mean. . .like goals, you know? Maybe “passions” would be a better word. God has put so many passions in my life. I’m passionate about helping people, wanting to travel, meeting my educational goals, etc. I am thankful that God gave me dreams that I can’t wait to come true!

23. Beachmont. I’ve been going to Beachmont ever since I was a little girl, and I love it there. I loved going to camp there, I loved volunteering there, I loved going to gym there, I loved having co-op there, I loved working there, I love going there on Tuesdays. I just love the place, and especially Mr. Paul and Mrs. Maureen. Mrs. Maureen personally cares for me and seeks me out, asking probing questions that I know I can answer truthfully because I will get wisdom and love in response. Anyway, I’m very thankful for that.

24. Church

25. Medicine

26. Salvation.

Hope Now-Addison Road February 18, 2009

This song, Hope Now by Addison Road, is what helped to encourage me and bring my spirits up throughout the day. I don’t have the song on CD, but a lot of my schoolwork was on the computer today, so I was able to listen to it multiple times.

If everything comes down to love
Then just what am I afraid of?
–>This is such a good point. If everything comes down to love, as most things do, then why am I scared? Gr, I have no answer.
When I call out Your name
Something inside awakes in my soul
How quickly I forget I’m Yours
–>Especially today, I totally forgot that I belong to God. And really, that is what it all comes down to. I belong to God. I can mess up on my school, wake up late, get to drivers ed a few minutes late, not make it to the library-but nothing can take me from God’s hand-I am His. When I remembered, finally, to call out God’s name, to call on His mercy, grace, strength, and help, that is when my soul woke up. That is when I remembered the great truth that I am His-I belong to Him. I do not belong to my school, work, chores, books, etc.

(PRE-CHORUS)
I’m not my own
I’ve been carried by You
All my life
–> So often, for some reason, I tend to think that I own myself. I am myself. My money is mine. My time is mine. My brain is mine, and I am the one making it work. How foolish of me. I am not my own. I am His. He has blessed me with a summer job, and babysitting/cleaning jobs regularly for now. My money is not mine. God has blessed me by waking me up each morning. He allows me to work hard, and usually helps me to manage my time, that He has given me, well. My time is not my own. God has blessed me once again with a healthy, fully working brain. I am normal. I can think. I can write. I can learn. I can speak. How kind of God. My brain is not my own. I am His.  All my life, He has carried me. I have not lived 16 years on my own. I have not accomplished things alone. I have not travelled to different countries without Him. I have relied on Him, willingly or not, all my life. My life is not my own. He owns me.
(CHORUS)
Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free
–> I sat about at the point of tears today. But then, I remembered. It’s all around hope. Hope that God can rescue me. Hope that I will make it through these next few days, hours, and even minutes. Hope that I get to see Him face to face one day 🙂 Hope that He will never leave me. Hope that I will be loved forever. I remembered faith. Faith that God is living. Faith that God wants my best and the best thing to glorify Him. Faith that those two things cannot be separated. Faith that God can pull me through. Faith that He will never disappoint. Today, I was defeated. Today, the world broke me down. It broke me down badly. I gave up almost. And then I remembered Hannah Yeich 🙂
“You give up, I give up.
That’s our deal.
Pinky Promise.
For Keeps.”
I almost just plopped down in bed and slept the day away, overwhelmed by life. But you know what? His love set me free. His love sets me free to love. Sets me free to learn. Set me free to apologize. Sets me free to work hard. Sets me free to hope. Sets me free to have faith. Sets me free to live for Him, always and forever.

When my life is like a storm
Rising waters all I want is the shore
You say I’ll be OK and
Make it through the rain
You are my shelter from the storm
–> Again, today was a storm. The waters rose far above my head. I wanted God to deliver me from that. I was pretty convinced that the best thing for me was to have out. God, on the other hand, apparently knew that wasn’t best for me. I don’t know why, but He does and that’s good enough for me. He was my shelter. He was my safe ground. He was my solid place. He was my shore. And I do believe that He reassured me, through His written word, that I would be okay. 

(CHORUS 2)
You’ve become my hearts desire
I will sing Your praises higher
Cause Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free
–> I love that this song does not say “You’re my hearts desire” this song says “You’ve become my hearts desire.” How perfect. God has become my desire. This morning, He was most def. not my desire. Now, through prayer and reading and listening, etc, He has become my desire. I love Him. He loves me. His love sets me free. I will sing His praises higher. I will praise so that you can no longer hear all the other praises for the other gods. How wonderful. I love my God. He sets me free.

GAH!

I am feeling pretty much beyond stressed this week, and especially today. Having dreamt that today was Sunday last night, I was disappointed that I am at the hardest part of my week-Wednesday. I needed to take a moment to recoup though. Gather my thoughts, correct them as needed, adjust my focus, and take a deep breath as I say a quick prayer.

This whole graduating early thing is not easy, not one bit. I have history to do, an assignment due at 4 pm that I started a little later that I’d like, I need a shower, I feel very OCDish today, my brain just wont focus, I want to do anything but school, all I can think about is the future and why I need to do what I need to do. I have to spend an hour cleaning the basement, like I promised my dad I would. I need to do Latin really badly, as well as geometry-I HATE those two things so much. I wish I had more chemistry to do, as it’s my favorite subject, but  I am already much too far ahead and I really shouldn’t do anymore. I have to finish my sketch for a friend, write two letters, and read. Oh, and all this should be done in the next 2.5 hours, since I have drivers ed at 5. There is just no way. Lately it seems that my days are so long, yet so short. They’re short, as in I don’t have enough time to do everything I want to get done, but long that when I do have time around like 10 PM to do more work, I am just exhausted because my days have been so long. I would love to sleep in. I cannot wait for Friday. I am taking a “me day” after school. My time limit for school on Friday is 6 PM and then I am going to put down all school, even if I want to do it, and have a me evening. I’m gonna read, nap?, blog, maybe even watch a movie! I can’t wait. I really hope nothing comes up because I’m really bad at saying no to doing things. Sat and Sunday are both maxed out with plans, I’m not really sure how I can do it all-esp. Sat. I have three things booked at the same time. I’m gonna need to rethink that, huh? I just need something to hold on. I need to rethink my thoughts <–hm, that doesn’t quite make sense. Oh well. I need a deep breath, I need a prayer. I need strength. I need grace. I need loving arms. I need love. I need support. I need all the things that I cannot give myself. Where can I get these things? Who can provide them to me? I know the answer to my question. I’m pretty sure at this point that the reason I’m not asking for what I want, running towards what I need, is because it seems too easy. My problems, which really are small comparatively speaking, just seem like I should need something big to fix them. Like, if God could keep me awake for 48 hours and keep the day giong for that same amount of time, that seems like it would be great because I could get done some things. If Drivers Ed could be cancelled, that would be great. By the time I get home from drivers ed I still have a ton of school to do, but I feel so tired I feel like my day should be over, but alas, it is not. Really, all I need to do is take the five minutes that I have spent here blogging uselessly, and run to my saviour, who rescues me every time with out fail. I need to take five more minutes and spend them in the Word, something I neglected to do this morning, when I woke up loate, realizing I hadn’t set my alarm. Alright, I need to go do those two things right now before I think of any more excuses. Prayer is welcomed and appreciated.
Oh, and I really need to finish filling out and sending in my contract for my job this summer. Time is a ticking!

Reading. . . February 16, 2009

Just an update on what I am currently reading.

Velvet Elvis-Rob Bell. I have heard VERY mixed reviews on this from friends, church members, and read many reviews online. I decided to check it out for myself. I’m only on the second chapter, so I will not judge it yet.

Blue like Jazz-Donald Miller. This book also has been talked about a lot. I am half way done this book. I was at someones house, picked it up, and did not put it down for three hours. It’s very interesting and has a different perspective than I have ever heard. So far the guy is a little out there on some of his points, but he has some good insight on things. There are some things I have known forever, but he says them in a fresh, new way. I am getting this book from the library Tuesday so I can read the second half. Oh, but i hate Donald Millers writing style. Oh, it’s killer for me. He has very long sentences, something I hate, pointless things (like that the tickets to the play he saw were expensive-not important!), and his points are not clearly defined. He also speaks in past tense, so at times I’m left wondering “do you still believe that, or DID you believe that but now you have changed your views?” But oh well, I just have to adjust to his style.

The Discipline of Grace-Jerry Bridges. This is a book I have read before and I am reading it as part of my new years resolution. It’s much better the second time around and its a good refresher on things I can never hear too often.

Romeo and Juliet-William Shakespear. I’m reading this ONLY for school. I hate ancient literature-or really most things written before like 1940ish. I just can’t stand it. It’s boring and redundant in my opinion. At least it’s a quicker read and the notes at the bottom of each page are helpful. I wound never read Romeo and Juliet in my free time.

The Other Side of Darkness-Melody Carlson. This is what the website gives as the plot or whatever.

“As a wife and mother, Ruth knows her prayers are crucial to her family spiritual welfare. She stands between her precious child and the evil one, doing battle in prayer. She can’t afford to be careless.

But the forces that threaten Ruth’s faith, her family—her very life—are not the ones she expects. Ruth doesn’t realize that her heartfelt desire to obey God is mingled with dangerous currents of OCD—Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Her own strategies for protecting her family may be the very thing that tears them apart.”
It’s an interesting book and I can’t even tell you how…interesting…I find this book for a variety of reasons. I am reading it because i love Melody Carlson and will read anything I can get my hands on that is written by her. Two of my top favorite books are written by her.

So that’s what I’ve been reading. I am glad I only set up to read 7 books this year because with school and all, it gives me the freedom to also read books I’d like to read, or that I discover or I am recomended (like The Other Side of Darkness, Velvet Elvis, and Blue like Jazz). Anyway, back to school for the rest of the day (minus a 1 hour break for 24 of course 😉 )

At the end of your rope. . . February 11, 2009

I would love to sit here and blog forever and write about my life and all the changes and what’s been going on and how exciting life is and how much school I have and how awful drivers ed is, but alas, I cannot. I have too much to do and I can barely keep my eyes open. I think I’ll go start “Romeo and Juliet” and get some sleep. I just wanted to share this pic with you 🙂
Hannah Yeich drew it. She’s my best friend. I love her so much. She’s amazing. She’s my fav. We made a deal. We pinky promised. She’s my lifesaver too. And she’s amazing at art. SEE? Well actually, I dont think she DREW it, she made the pic totally though 🙂

Hannah Drew It!

Free Write February 5, 2009

This transitional period of my life is so scary and exhilirating. That is the only word I can think of to sum up my life. Things are very exciting, but different. As I think about the coming months and about what God is doing and will do in my life, I get so happy! I’m super excited about starting Drivers Ed monday because I know God has plans and a reason for me being in that class with whoever I happen to be with.
This upcoming freedom and change is a little scary though. Going from highschool to college, not driving to license, no job to full time job for the summer, homeschooled to driving to college everyday, it’s all a little strange and I’m a little worried. I want to make the best of this time though. My best friend and I had a really awesome conversation Sunday night while lying under the stars on her deck (it was so beautiful! God’s creation NEVER ceases to amaze me). We talked about all the changes that are going to be occuring in the next year of our lives. With her being a year younger than me, we have big challenge ahead. And since I skipped a grade it’s almost as if I’m two years older than her. We know there will be many challenges and too many changes to count, but we are ready to take them on and make sure every change is positive.

**Change of Topic!!!**
Someone was recently talking about youth being the “future of the church” and it reminded me of when Pastor Matt was saying how youth AREN’T the FUTURE of the church, rather, they ARE the church NOW! It got me very excited when he was talking about that. So often people refer to youth as the future of the church and that allows me to get into the mindset that my job in the church right now is not a very big role and all I am supposed to be doing is “preparing” or when I AM a part of the church. I will not let anyone look down on my for my age. As I’m in this time in my life when everything seems to be changing and I am growing up and getting older (ah!), I want to be more involved. I want to be the church. I want to be more active in the church and play a bigger role. Today, as I was practicing one of my spiritual disciplines that I’d been putting off for two days, I found myself thinking “wow, it’s weird to think that I’m a 16 year old girl sitting here reading a book about spiritual disciplines. How many kids my age do that?” While that’s all good and fine, I was getting myself all self-righteous and puffy. “Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up”-The Bible. I don’t want to compare myself to todays teens because, yeah, I wouldn’t look too shabby. I haven’t had sex, never done drugs, never kissed a guy or snuck out. According to the world, I’m a “pretty good person.” I don’t want that!!!!! I want to be godly in GOD’S eyes. Not in the eyes of the church or my friends or my parents or my leaders or my teachers. I want GOD to see humility and gentelness in me. I want to compare myself with the Bible. So often recently I have been comparing myself to those around me and the secular world. That’s not right. I want to set myself apart from them. I want people to be asking me what it is I have that gives me this joy, this peace, this love. And especially this love.
Getting older and changing all these things in my life is opening up so many more opprotunities that I’ve never had before. Especially starting to drive alone in the next month, I will have a lot more freedom (although my mom reminds me daily that when I get my license I cannot go wherever I want whenever I want…) and I will be more freed up to go serve and be around people and witness. This excites me.
I know I’ve been blogging a lot and I know that I’ve been talking about the change and transition in my life a ton, but it’s what I’ve been thinking about all the time pretty much. I get so excited. I just need to make sure I stay in God’s will and continue seeking Him.

I apologize that this post was ALL over the place. I just had a lot of thoughts that were coming and I used this more as a free write than anything else. I had no rhyme or reason to it all, sorry 🙂

How amazing!

Yeah, you guessed it, another song. I was listening to this when I was doing Bible today. . .And I should be doing Latin right now, but Latin and I are currently not speaking to each other (partially because I can’t understand anything it says to me…) and so I’m blogging because it’s the only thing I can think of to distract me from interacting with Latin, like I should be.
Anyway, back to the post. I haven’t posted all the lyrics, just the parts I like. The first four lines I posted are what made me wanna blog about this song. Song is called “Free to be Me” by Francesca Battistelli. Unfortunately, the CD with the song hasn’t been released yet so even though the song is on the radio, I can’t find any good versions online. So I posted a video of her doing it live. You have to skip the first minute or so because it’s just her talking about the song.

A war’s already waged for my destiny
But You’ve already won the battle
And You’ve got great plans for me
Though I can’t always see
-This made me think about my future. I feel that I have things planned out and I’m pretty confident they’re God’s plans, but every minute of my life, or so it seems, I feel that other things are trying to influence me, turn me from what God’s plans for my life are, and convince me that to do what I want because it would be more fun and rewarding. Although I know that’s a lie, it’s  an easy-to-buy-into lie. I have been saved though and I’m proud to say that God has won my battle. I have given him my life. He owns it. I don’t know what God wants to do with my life yet. It’s like there is a map, but it’s folded so I can only see where I am currently and where I have been. But God, He can see the whole thing and He knows when to unfold the map a little more so I know where to go. And He never folds back up where I have been-It’s so encouraging that I can always look back and see how far I’ve come and how faithful He’s been to show me exactly where to go and when.
(Chorus)
‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I’m so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I’m free to be me
-I like the part talking about fitting the pieces together and perfection being her enemy. In my life, that is so true! I struggle with being perfect so often. But then when I try to be perfect on my own, of course it doesn’t work! When I look to God though, I see that 1) I don’t have to be perfect and 2) He sees me as perfect, no matter how clumsy I may be. Because of those two things, it gives me a freedom to be who I am in Christ. How amazing!

Sometimes I believe that I can do anything
Yet other times I think I’ve got nothing good to bring
But You look at my heart and You tell me
That I’ve got all You seek
And it’s easy to believe
-I love this part also.It’s like the “good day/bad day” feeling. Sometimes I feel like I got it, I’ve had a good day. God must be happy with me. And other days I feel like a failure, how could God EVER love me? But that isn’t how God sees me. When I look to Him and ask me to remind me how HE sees me, He tells me that He is everything I am looking for. He tells me that He sees me as His beloved child. How amazing! And I know He has my whole life planned out. It may be scary and interesting and hard right now, but I know that all I have to do is earnestly seek Him everyday of my life and my life will turn out right and I’ll make it through somehow. How amazing.

Hannah drew this picture to go with this post. She’s crazy awesome.

Whew! February 4, 2009

I got my grade back from my Winter Class. I got an A. Wondeful. My college GPA is currently a 4.0 🙂 haha. My parents were just telling me today that they are happy I got a good grade and they think next semester will be interesting for me as my mom had a 2.4 her first semester and graduated with a 2.3. My dad got a 2.5 his first semester. . .I have no idea where I got my self-motivation from, because it wasn’t from either of my parents! haha, just kidding. I’m very pleased and thankful to God for helping me make it through that month. Next big thing: Drivers ed. I start Monday, but I have to meet with the lady Friday. I have no idea why, but she has to meet with each student first. Apparently she runs a very strict school!
Today has been productive. Got up early, got ready for the day, did school, ate, showered, more school. Then I got bored and cleaned my dad’s studio lounge-he told me he’d pay me $10/hr if I did it for him. I wound up taking me three hours. I wasn’t expecting me to take that long, but oh well. I’m not so poor now. And the lounge looks great. And I had a great time doing it. Cleaning relieves so much stress.
I have to get back to work though. I have Latin, English, Chemistry, Bible, and Geography (in that order) to do before 8pm. At 8pm I am starting “The Secret Life of Bees,” which I’ve been waiting to see for forever. I have to start it at eight because I plan to get up really early tomorrow to work on school and I want to get to bed before 11. Then English class, then more school work tomorrow. I want to take advantage of this week of “normalcy” I have before all my classes start, drivers ed starts, SAT’s and all that fun stuff. Hopefully my immense amount of motivation wont wear off before 8!
Oh, and I can’t WAIT to get my work contract in the mail to sign!

One Month Later February 2, 2009

So it’s been a month since I made my new years resolutions. I believe the first month is the hardest. Particularly the last week or two. I am glad I told people to keep me accountable to these things and posted them on my blog. I have a lot of pride so if I say something to people, I will do my best to keep my word. If I just told myself I would do these things, I would probably fail. Anyway, just a little update on life. And yes, my expectancy post will come this week, I promise!

I have never been one that is into New Years resolutions. Personally, I find them dumb. This year though, I am going to make a couple resolutions. . .
1)During the year 2009 I want to be open. Open to help, open to peoples input, advice, and correction. I have noticed what a closed off person I am. Scared of being manipulated, I push away most people in my life and I hardly listen to what people say. I’m going to be open to consider what people have to say to me. I feel that I can do that, or at least to attempt.
–> This has been amazing. New years day I got backstabbed by a friend-hard. So I was immediately challenged. This has been going well. It is hard to find a balance though. I know this girl though and we had an amazing convo about our lives because I was open with her about my life and she was also. It was very encouraging. And I know that she does not have the intention of hurting me.
2)My second resolution is that I am going to try harder. In the beginning of 2008 I was trying, but not giving it my all. As the year progressed, I got weaker and just burnt out. I was exhausted from fighting and just worn out. I gave up. I gave in. This year I will do my best to fight as hard as is possible. I’m not going to say that I will succeed or even once, but that I am going to do my best. I want to look back on this coming year and not regret not giving it my all like I will this year.
–> This is really hard. Academically I have been trying harder than ever. In other ways, though, it has been hard. Its been trial and error. I have had both victories and failures. This weekend I was very very tested. Was I going to try? Would I fight temptation? Although it was hard, I called on a friend who graciously helped me through that time. The next day the same thing kinda happened and another friend came to my rescue. Oh how I love my friends.
3)Third resolution. My third resolution will be that I am going to memorize more scripture. This year I did memorize a ton of scripture, but I would memorize it, remember it for a while, then slack off and forget. 2 verses (or set of verses) each month. That is reasonable and hopefully I will get more than that, but my memorization skills suck so we’ll see. I feel that if I can memorize the entire periodic table in like a month, then I can memorize some scripture. I’ll post what scriptures I will be memorizing (or for most, re-memorizing) this coming year at a later time.
–> I have the first two memorized. I wasn’t home yesterday at all so I wasn’t able to look at which verses to start, but I will start them today. Hopefully I will remember all four by the end of this month.
4)Fourth resolution is that I am going to read 6 books that will help me to grow spiritually. I have 4 of the 6 picked out already, but I will post the names of all 6 later also. I wanted to do 12, but with everything that will be going on this year, that is not reasonable.
–> I read 170 pages of a 230 page book in Jan. Hopefully I will read more than 6 books, but we’ll see.
5)This year I would also like to ATTEMPT to think reasonably. As often as is possible I am going to try to catch myself when I am setting unrealistic expectations for myself. By the end of the year I would like to say that I am a more reasonable thinker. Even if I only change a little bit in this area, that will be a huge step.
–> This has been really difficult, but it’s amazing the change God has made in my head. I am thinking differently. And like I said, any change is a HUGE step for me. I have already seen God taking me leaps and bounds. This is also related to my expectancy thing. I didn’t expect God to change me so much, but He has exceeded my expectations.
6)The other thing that I will attempt this year is that I am going to try to change the way that I think into a more positive thinker. I often can recognize when I am thinking negatively and I would like to change that. Again, any progress in this area is a big change for me.
–> This is taking time. I have gotten to the place where I am recognizing my bad or negative thoughts and capturing them. Replacing them and keeping them away is a struggle though.
7) I want to become a more caring and relatable person. There are a few types of people that I just have the hardest time relating to. When people are so different from me, I tend to just pull away from them because I don’t know what to do or say or what their interests are. I plan to try to talk with them more and try to identify more with them. I know that this will take intentionality and work, but I am prepared for that I actually have an opportunity to start this one right now, so I really should go do that. . .
–> This is going alright. Again, finding balance in this area is hard. Where can I step out and reach out to people and when is it okay to just hang with my friends? I have had a hard time with this one. My college class gave me lots of chances to practice this though and I’m glad about that.
8 ) This year I would like to learn how to take better pictures. I got a new camera earlier this year because my first Kodak Easyshare camera broke (r.i.p. I loved that camera-it was good to me). I have a nicer fugifilm camera now and I would like to get books from the library and read them, do some internet research and talk to people who are way better at taking pictures than I am.
–> I haven’t done anything in this yet. I most likely wont attack this area until later in the year. I have NO time for that right now.
9) Something I have learned is crucial in life is peace and quiet. In my house full of 8 people, 10 when we’re all here, it can be a little hectic (to say the least). I would like to try to take more time, at least 2 times a month, to sit in peace. I can read or write or draw or think or anything, but I want to make time to be alone and in peace and quiet. This will be hard to make that time, but I love quiet so it will be good. Plus, once I have my license I can drive to a quiet place or just sit in the car somewhere that isn’t home. It will be awesome and good for my life.
–> This past Friday I did this. That means it was only once this past month. Fail. it’s okay though. I’ll try to get two times in this month.
10) I WILL get a pet! I would like to get a bunny, but I will settle for a fish or turtle or something else if I must. I have many legit reasons why an animal would be good for my life. I can’t wait
–> Still trying to get my dad to let me get a bunny. I am gonna settle for a fish soon though.
11)This year I want to have better posture. When I danced I really did have awesome posture and over the past two years it’s gotten bad. I want to sit up straight and hold my shoulders back. It will make me look taller and I just love seeing people sitting with good posture. I’m sure it’s good for my back and stuff too.
–> THis is hard (I say while slouching. . .). I have had a really hard time with this. Oh well. I need to think about it more often.
12)I want to be more of an encouragement. A reachable goal for me this year is to encourage at least one person a week. In writing, words, e-mail, or other means of communication, I would like to be more of an encouragement in the world. Hopefully I will encourage more than one person a week, but that is what I would like to do. I also know that when I encourage others it helps me because I have to usually see and point out the GOOD things in people and it helps me to be positive and not think so negatively while also helping me think of others and look for the good things in others and where God is working most in their life.
–> I have tried to encourage one person a week and its been going well.

I am excited for what this year will bring.
1)In 2009I will take my first winterm-Check!
2)In 2009 I will get my license-I tenetively start Drivers Ed the 10th so then I should get my license early March 🙂
3)In 2009 I will graduate high-school-May 17th! possibly 16th, but as of now it is the 17th!
4)In 2009 I will take my SAT’s-yikes.-Some weekend of March
5)In 2009 I will start and finish my first semester of college classes-Not till September
6)In 2009 I will get my first real job-Got that secured! My contract is coming in the mail and I will be signing it soon!

I found out last Sunday that I have until May first to get my grades turned in. I have 3 months, Feb, March, April, 89 days to finish ALL of my school. I try not to think of it like that because it scares me! But oh well. If I take it day by day and day by day ONLY, then I am okay and not too stressed out. Speaking of school, I need to get back to work!

One Versus Two January 30, 2009

Honestly, hardly any of this is true. It is a little true in parts, but most of it was made up. Why? It made for a good paper and she wanted orginal topics for our compare and contrast papers. I know it has a few errors, but oh well 🙂

 

 

Maggie Grant

1/20/09

ENGL 101

Professor Kambui

 

                                    One Versus Two

            While only about 2 in 35 kids are twins, I have the rare opportunity to be a twin. Most of my friends however, are not twins. None of my siblings are twins, so I have seen the differences between being a single child and a twin. Though there are some positive aspects of being a twin, overall, being a twin can tend to steal your identity and cause you to feel that you must measure up to your twin. Single children have it better off because they had a point in time where they were an infant and the family focused mostly on them and they have more individuality. A common misconception is that twins are best friends and everyone loves being a twin. This is why most kids wish they had a twin, but that is not the case. Being a twin is not as fun or exciting as most single children think; being a single child has more advantages than being a twin.

            Being a twin, I have always felt compared to my twin by family and friends. Single children do not have a sibling their exact age who is in the exact same stage of life their whole childhood. Whether it was getting better grades, being more sporty or artistic, or better looking, I have always felt that I had to be better than my twin, Jonathan, so that I would be seen as better than him by our friends, siblings, and parents. I have always felt that I had to be superior to my twin or people would like him more than me. That has impacted my life in negative ways, making my self-confidence especially low at times. This disadvantage is one that I would have to face much less if I had been born a single child.

            Another problem that would not have to be present if I did not have a twin is that we would not share friends. While sharing friends could be a good thing for some people, Jonathan and I are so different that sharing friends does not work. Trying to have the same group of friends is utterly hopeless because we have minimal common interests. Sometimes my friends will tell me that Jonathan has been talking badly about me and telling lies about my life. The other issue with sharing friends is that he can begin to like my girlfriends and I can begin to like his guy friends. This makes having my friends over to my house difficult. Single children, however, do not typically have to struggle with sharing their friends because they are always at least a year apart from their siblings. People without a twin also have more individuality; they can be who they want to be with their friends, not worrying about what their twin is saying about them or doing with their friends when they are not around.

            Single children also have the advantage over twins because they have more of a personal identity because they are known as their personal selves. Twins however, are known as “the twins” or called “Jonathan and Maggie,” never just their name only. Single children have individual birthday parties, while twins have to share their birthday parties, as well as gifts. Twins must share everything and are expected to like the same things. When people are constantly asking if you are twins and asking questions about being a twin, it can begin to feel that being a twin is what you are known for and liked for. Single children on the other hand can stand out for their talents, not their peculiarity because of being a twin. Single children can play sports and not worry about having to try to get on a different team than their twin. Single children also do not have to worry about getting better grades than their twin, which is a common struggle for someone with a twin.

            Though there may be some advantages to being a twin, although unknown to me, they are far outweighed by the disadvantages of being a twin. Single children have more opportunities as an individual, and twins are bound together by their twin, or so-called other half.  Fortunately, there are more single children than twins. I am thankful that not a large percentage of people have to face the same challenges everyday that I do. Single children are lucky that their mother one had one kid during her pregnancy.